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Written summer 2002 "NYC-Cali Jjambbong"Lately what comes out of my mouth is what I like to call a jjambbong of lingos. Cali-NYC brand jjambbong. Let me explain.When I hit 25 I had the dreaded quarter-life crisis. I graduated from college and had been in the real world, whoring myself for corporate America for over three years. What was I doing with my life? Oh my gawd, I was half-way through my twenties and what did I have to show for it? I feared that before I knew it I would hit the big 3-0 and not have done any of the things I wanted to do. Ya know... like Phoebe on "Friends"; I haven't met any Portuguese people! I... I haven't had the perfect kiss! And I haven't been to sniper school! Ahhhhhh! I needed help lest I becometh a failure in life! Well, I guess I couldn't do everything at once, but there was thing I had always wanted to do -- MOVE, and move AWAY. I had always lived in California (grew up in LA and worked in SF Bay area) but never understood why everyone wanted to move TO California. I thought that it just might be a good time to find out. I'd always wanted to live on the East Coast, but who has time to try out every major city? By my early thirties, I am gonna want to settle down. So, I figured that if I had to try one and only one city on the Eastern seaboard, the choice was obvious -- the Big Apple. That's right... New York City! Could there be a more exciting place for a single young dude in his mid-twenties? OK, so now what? Just leave? Against all good reason and sanity, that's exactly what I did. Knowing that NYC is an expensive and rough place to live, I probably should have gotten a job first. Plus, do I even know anyone out there? And what about all this post-September 11th trauma? In spite of all that, I did it-- I picked up and moved. I quit my well-paying stable job, sold all my possessions, ditched my car, and packed my life into three huge bags that several small children and perhaps a good-sized pet could fit into. I liquidated all my investments and bought that one-way ticket to the unknown and the uncertain. Being a Californian at heart, it was a bit of culture shock for me at first, but after almost five months in the Big Apple, I'm getting used to the break-neck speed of Manhattan, not to mention the weather. My Chronicles... I started out crashing at my old high school buddy's apartment. As soon as I arrived from the airport, he said, "Get dressed. We're goin' out." *Gulp* It was 11:30PM for crying out loud! Doesn't everything close at 2AM like in Cali? No last call? Apparently not. The night was just starting. After a week of partying it up and getting home at 6AM, I started looking for a place to live, and I had to do it fast since time is of the essence in New York. The place I got is pretty expensive. And I thought San Francisco was bad. But it is nice and cozy. Or in New York speak, "I got a 4th floor alcove studio in an elevator building on the upper east side, no doorman, no fee, with a super on the premises. A great block!" How's that for ya? Hehe... I am amazed at how different daily life is in NY vs. Cali. I went to a three-story Bed, Bath, and Beyond store and was amused by the shopping cart escalators. I went to Ikea in New Jersey. Did you know that they have a free shuttle every 30 minutes from Manhattan to that Ikea? Yeah, I got some furniture. I was in serious refugee style mode, people! I think if someone had seen me in my apartment at that time, they would have called the cops and reported a squatter at 520 East 84th Street. Seriously. I also soon discovered I had an industrial toilet. It happened when I went to put some matches on my toilet tank only to discover later that I had none. I know... WTF! Next time I went out shopping, I got shelves. Anyway, that had been my first time in Jersey. What did I think? Ehhhhhhhh... And oh yeah, I pulled out some cash from the ATM, and I got some $10 bills! Cool... I started to decipher the subtle differences between a few of the East Coast accents and began labeling people accordingly. Ya know...there was Jersey girl Eunice, Boston Joe, Ghetto New York Julie. Normally, I am vehemently against labeling people, but hey, it helped me remember the names, OK? I think I introduced myself to like 50 or so people the first two weeks. It was all good though, since most people seemed pretty cool. I think they were a lot more amused with me than anything else, especially with my "California accent." I had no idea what the hell they were talking about, but they said I talk like I'm from California. Doood... =P In between all the madness I had been trying every slice of NY pizza I could find. Whenever I saw an "Arturo's Pizza," "Candido Pizza," "Pizza by Tony," I was beckoned by, "Eh! whaddaya wanna Pizza!" (you get the picture). I'd just go in and ask for a pepperoni slice. In my neighborhood I like "Candido." As thin a slice as I've ever had and a great rich tomato sauce. Mmmm... I'd also already logged many late nights/early mornings in K-town (yeah, all one block of it) getting food. Ugh... nothing beats LA K-food. Overall things were going well and I was still excited. I did miss California though. I missed my friends and family. I also missed the weather, the Mexican food, Lake Tahoe, and In-N-Out Burger. After six months of unemployment (and three months of really trying) I FINALLY got a job! Yeah! In midtown Manhattan for this bank. Not my dream job but I was just glad to have some income again. Also my body was all whacked! I had last worked six months prior and still had not recovered from the jet lag from the flight over; all that partying actually worsened my condition. I just slept later and later and woke up later and later. I was such a beast! I was glad to be working regular hours, 8am-5pm. Now I just needed to master my commute. Metropolitan Transit Authority was now my best friend. Present day... Right now, it's the 3 H's in NYC. Hot, Hazy, Humid! Ahhhhhh! I can't wait until the fall when it gets cooler and all the colors change because I've never seen fall foliage. But mostly I just wanna cool down from the summer heat. These days I just try to stay indoors during the day and go out at night. Yup, just like a vampire... MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I mean last week, I took the 7 train out to Queens to visit friends, and the A/C just happened to be broken. On top of that, there was a Mets game at Shea and the 3 H's were in full effect!!! Ahhhhh! The train was packed like sardines. I didn't even need to reach up to hold onto anything. But I did anyway and you know what I saw??? My ARM...sweating. That's right, my ARM! It was dripping with sweat. First off, I don't sweat that much, and second of all I didn't know that my arm could sweat. It was like a sauna in there. Probably the most disgusting thing I've done since I got here. I went into the subway smelling like Lever2000 but left smelling like B.O. Ugh... Must...get... to... A/C... *reaches out hand* I can't believe that I've been here for almost 5 months. I now have my favorite shoe repair, cleaners, and fruit store... all on the same block, of course. The fruit store lady turned out to be this Korean ahjummah who I think tried to set me up with her daughter. One day she found out I was Korean and started asking all these questions like what I did, what school I went to, about my family, etc. I didn't care or think much of it 'cause she gave me a discount (Niiiiiice...)! Anyhow, the next time I was there, she was like (in Korean), "My daughter is a little younger than you. In fact, she is here! (insert-typical Korean girl's name here)-eeyahhh!!!!" I know! What the! Anyways, I could tell the girl (as cute as she was) was feelin' a little awkward, as was I. It was like "UH... hi... Yes, I buy fruit from your mom. It's really very fresh." So anyhow, I left. I'm scared to go buy fruit now. My Korean has also vastly improved, which still means it sucks, but compared to before it is masterful! Probably because the fruit store, cleaners, and shoe repair are all Korean owned. Go figure. Also there seems to be a lot more FOBs in NY from what I can tell, but it's all good. Back to the jjambbong... Recently, as I waved goodbye to new friends after a long night of fun out in the city that never sleeps, I surprised myself with this utterance: "Doood, that was hella fun. You better make sure that kid gets home OK, yo!" Well... "Doood" is characteristically West Coast. "Hella" originated in the Bay area. I find that a lot of Jersey people call each other "kid." And a lot of New Yorkers end their sentences with "yo." Voila! NYC-Cali jjambbong.
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